For all intensive porpoises…
*buoys boat shoes on sail*
"Grammatically speaking, it really should be myPhone, Steve."
-Steve Jobs’ not famous English professor
"Omelette you finish."
-Kanye at Sunday brunch
"🎶Give Peas a Chance🎶"
-John Lennon spoon feeding a violently picky infant
My watchdog has ticks.
The first date is always bizarre because it’s like “what an awkwardly oblong, fleshy fruit this is.”
I knew he was the Juan for me when the online Dominos Tacker indicated he was assembling my pineapple pizza.
Pitch Perfect is NOT an instructional camping video.
A Cairopractor cracks backs in Egypt.
Even the moon waxes its curvaceous celestial body regularly.
I’m so clumsy, falling asleep ought to be easier.
I got the gentleman’s Hepatitis B- in my Sub-Saharan Africa course.
Adult Fetus Pajamas
-Combines the pragmatic durability of an adult onesie with the comfort & whimsy of a polar fleece uterus
-Features USB cable umbilical cord & free ebook download of Hemingway’s “For Womb the Bell Tolls”
-Dry clean only
Days like this, I just want to move to Honolulu, finally open my surf school for toddlers “Baby on Board.”