*Sugar Plumber Fairy repairouettes leaky faucet* #TheButtcracker
The computer curser hand clearly means to give the middle-finger; it simply lacks the fine modem skills.
Watch out for pillowcase salesmen; they’re a total sham.
I love that new song about a girl wearing a shapeless dress. I always belt it.
: any chemical substance that triggers a social response as secreted by an ancient Egyptian king
*spends half hour attempting to purchase Goat Cheese Stuffed Mushrooms from App Store*
*starts a Shoeaholics Anonymous group called Achilles Heal*
*opens a photography studio for bears called Kodiak Moment*
How much would would a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could conceptualize hypotheticals?
He was so noble, his farts were periodically argon (Ar).
Some lightbulbs are actually heavy.
*fills gas tank with Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom to achieve souped up ride*
"Tick tock to the hand, because the face ain’t listening."
"To tree, or nut to tree: that is the question…”
-Shakespearean squirrel suffering existential crisis
Another day older, another Budweiser.